C.S. Lewis on fear (from Perelandra)
my fear was now of another kind. i felt sure that the creature was what we called ‘good,’ but i wasn’t sure whether i liked ‘goodness’ so much as i had supposed. this is a very terrible experience. as long as what you are afraid of is something evil, you may still hope that the good may come to your rescue. but suppose you struggle through to the good and find that it also is dreadful? how if food itself turns out to be the very thing you can’t eat, and home the very place you can’t live, and your very comforter the person who makes you uncomfortable? then, indeed, there is no rescue possible: the last card has been played.
c.s. lewis, from perelandra (book two of the ransom trilogy)